Can't Sleep

I've been up since 3am and cannot seem to get my body in a comfortable position. My magic adjustable bed cant seem to find the right position. Last night prior to going to sleep Keagan and I took a walk. Physically, during that walk, I felt the best I have felt since prior to surgery. Once we returned to the house I worked on my spirometer and hit a new personal best of 3500 ml. From that moment on my chest has been killing me. I don't know what I did but it hurts. It makes me nervous because the pain is directly in the middle of my chest (sternum) over my heart. It radiates on and off and wraps around my rib cage in the area of my removed rib. Also, I feel like I have some sort of liquid in my lungs. I can feel it gurgle as I breath in. I have tried to cough it up, but the pain of coughing is too much for me to continue. I have taken my meds early hoping this will help.

For the moment sitting up seems to help. My patience is tested with moments like this. I get aggravated with any sign or symptom of regression. I can't wait to get back to normal life. I want to lay in my own bed and wrap my arms around my wife as we sleep. I want to drive myself to work and get back in the weight room. I keep hearing stories from friends about these great workouts that they are having. Hearing this makes me jealous. The aggravation of regression digs at me and makes me testy.

I am writing this blog mostly to vent and get out my anger at this situation. I grow tired of being inside all day long. There are only so many movies to watch and so much work to do on the computer. I have tried reading, however it still seems to make me dizzy. Maybe a book on CD would be something new to try.

Anyhow, I guess you could say that I'm getting a little tired of this routine and am ready for a change. I have many visitors lined up for today, I only hope that I'm feeling better prior to their arrival.

Thank you for listening to my complaining. It helps me vent through write out my thoughts. I hope you all are doing well.

- Robert